Frequently Ask Questions

 

Are you a counselor or therapist?

While our group can be very therapeutic, YMTC does not pretend or purport to be a licensed therapist or psychologist. YMTC would more closely align with a support group or at very least a coffee club.

 

What is the structure or content of the group?

Our group pulls from several sources. Generally in facilitating the group it’s based off the book titled “A Circle of Men” by Bill Kauth. Other sources of interest are “Iron John” by Robert Bly, the works of Robert Bly in general, “King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine” by Robert Moore and Doug Gillette, “The Boy Crisis” by Warren Farrell, “12 Rules for Life” by Jordan Peterson, Native American lodge and kiva tradition, and various philosophical sources.

 

Is this group religious?

YMTC is not religious in the sense that we’re trying to push a certain dogma or belief system. We believe that each individual is a man (or a young man in development) and therefore should take responsibility for their own beliefs as well as respect the sovereignty of other members. At times we may spark a discussion by starting out with something like “They say that Buddhists think….”, “The Jews say….”, “Plato says in one book….”etc… “…what do you think about that?”. But our group is not intended to be a religious studies group in so much as it’s a way for individuals to ponder life and work on expressing themselves.

 

Can I sit in on my son’s session?

Generally speaking the answer to this question is no. We seek to foster a space where members can feel free to talk about their problems or concerns, some of which might be their parents. If a parent is present this can cause members to clam up, not share, and make the meeting of little value. If pressed we might allow a parent to stay a few minutes for the opening meditation/thought, but would ask them to leave after 10-15 minutes.

 

What if my son says something concerning?

While most of what is said inside of our group is confidential, if anything concerning was said, such as a serious desire/indication to cause harm to themselves, a parent would be notified of the concern and the possible need for professional guidance.

 

Do you tell my son what to do?

We believe in the personal responsibility of the individual to make decisions and take ownership for those decisions. In group it is not allowed for a member to tell another what to do. Instead the members express what THEY would do in a situation or what they think should be done. What is the distinction? These days many people expect someone else to solve or take care of all of their problems without any role on their part. This places your son in the position of the King, carefully listening to the advisers around him, but ultimately owning and making the decision himself. It will always be encouraged that a parent or guardian should be consulted as part of any major decisions.

 

Why is there a physical activity waiver?

While most of our activity is in a group setting sitting and talking, this is not something that’s always conducive to young men. Young males are taught things like to be silent, “stop being rough”, “get down from that tree”, “stop wrestling”, etc.. with the implication that its bad. But same as with young bear cubs or puppies, young men very much benefit from rough play and interactions at times, all of which are very natural. If the group gets “antsy” we may break things up by doing some yoga, physical exercises, martial arts, wrestling, going on a nature hike, etc… If your son is not particular interested in the physical aspect, while we’ll encourage him to try, we won’t force it upon him.

 

Is this similar to BoyScouts/Scouts?

While we believe Scouts is an excellent program, we’re not trying to duplicate Scouts. Scouts tend to be more activity based, and we’re more about building a community of trust to ping ideas off of each other and work through our daily issues. At times, if there’s group desire, we might plan a camping trip or a BBQ at a park, but this isn’t meant to compete or be at the same level as Scouts.

 

Can my daughter join?

Unfortunately at this time, the program is only for young men and the challenges unique to them. We think it would be excellent if someone would create a similar program for girls, however that should come from a female facilitator who’s familiar with their unique challenges.

 

Are young men disqualified for being bi or homosexual?

YMTC does not push or “condone” certain sexual orientations. We believe in taking responsibility for your own actions, decisions, etc… therefore it is not for us to say if your particular orientation is right or wrong. We hope to be able to include any young man regardless of orientation. It is true that certain members may feel uncomfortable with an orientation that does not align with their own. However this is a good thing, as in today’s culture youth are often taught to avoid things that challenge or make them uncomfortable. In such an instance we might explore why it is and where this discomfort comes from.

 

How much does it cost to join?

YMTC is not out to make money and is provided more as a community service. With that said, it does cost money to rent our meeting space, host our website, and provide coffee/tea/snacks when available. While no one in need will be turned away, a donation of $10 a meeting per member is appreciated.

 

Can I become a facilitator?

YMTC always appreciates those looking to give back to youth and think its great you’re interested. To become a facilitator requires a few things. If you have a son who is a member of the group, we’d have to talk to your son to see how they feel about that. Next we would ask you take a basic background check for sexual offenses (as we’re cultivating a safe environment). Lastly we’d ask you to come to the beginning of one of our meetings. At the meeting, when appropriate, we will ask you to describe yourself. You can tell your background, interests, hobbies, what you seek being part of the group, how you hope to give back, anything you’d like to mention. At no later then halfway through the meeting you’ll be asked to leave as the meeting continues. This will give the members time to internalize how they felt about you, your personality, etc… During closing rounds a vote will be taken and a discussion about how each member felt and if you’d make a good addition to the tribe. If all is well you’ll be accepted into the group and help with planning, facilitating the meetings, etc…